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"How Will I Know?"

Posted by Gary John Bishop on

I'm often asked by members of Unfu*k Nation, "how will I know if my life is changing?".

The answer isn't always a simple one but let's get one thing clear, that's the question you should be asking (and answering) yourself before embarking on any significant life change.

Let me give you an example. Many of us want to change the way our bodies look (or our bank balance or relationships or career or whatever...) and we set off with the best of intentions often only to resort to the same bullshit we always return to at some point. Why do we do that? Because we often connect ourselves to some vague outcome or target without ever getting down to the basics of what it will actually take. That's why I LOVE the "how will I know?" question. You see if you are out to gain or lose weight, how you would know that your life is changing is not by the scale or measuring tape but that you would be taking new actions of only eating X number of times per day or that you would be in the gym by 7.30am or that you are regularly eating X instead of Y or that you cook your own meals and no longer eat fast food. You see there HAS to be some verifiable evidence of a change in what you are DOING but not necessarily in how you currently FEEL about what you are doing. The results? Oh they'll come.

You have to be clear about what your life will look like, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant the item might seem, when you are making changes or breaking up old patterns. In short, you need to know when you're in the game or out of the game in an easy and unmistakable instant of your everyday life.

You see, real life change is a series of interruptions, of doing violence to your usual thoughts and emotions with an in-the-moment act of freedom, of doing something that is either new or that you had promised yourself you would do when faced with the same old, same old. If you're not clear about exactly what that new life looks like, what a new life demands that you do, you'll get caught up in the usual mish mash of thoughts, feelings, and circumstances.

Remember, it's not "how will I feel in the future?" but rather "what will I be doing in the future" and what you do about that future TODAY will determine how long it will take for you to realize it.



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